Orange Juice for Breakfast

So, I don’t know. I have no idea what it means. Why ask me?

We do things, don’t we? We stumble along, we’re blind.

I am a 5 foot tall man, standing in a 6 foot deep rushing river.

So, don’t ask me why I do things. Don’t try to interpret through the rapids. I don’t do anything because of anything.

I am sorry right now for so many things. I don’t know what most of them are, but I can hear them scraping at me like birds on a roof. I feel them staring at me from behind bushes and through one-way mirrors. I have tried at various times to seek them out and to beat them into humiliation. They are much more clever than that.

I have tried drinking orange juice for breakfast.

I have sipped from the well of knowledge.

I have sought to simplify.

I have run faster than anyone ever has.

I have pretended I knew what is important.

I have admitted to knowing nothing.

I have danced.

I have slept deeper than the dead.

I have lied about everything and denied everything and hid everything and refused everything. I have betrayed everyone. I have ignored every bit of advice I have ever received. I have blamed my father and died for his love. 

Sometimes it feels as if I have already done everything, and there is nothing left.

Sometimes the orange juice tastes incredible.